It’s not easy to have a large system which is harmful. It is so much larger than a corrupt company. How wrong can a company go, at worst? If it were a single company, no matter the size, one would have thought of merely the function of it. What had it been selling? What else was there to consider? It must not be so difficult for any moderately educated individual to come up with a few factors affecting the success of it. The major problem lies in mistaking harmfulness for success. This is what my country has and does. To me, all on my own. /It didn’t start recently. It has been the case for a long period of time. But i could ignore it… Is it my only solution? How can I put up with so much harm? How can so many people can change, how could they choose to harm others, ignore their duties and why in the world are they taking joy in the suffering they cause through their jobs? 

They pretend that their coincidental meetings with others are sheer accidents… that they did not know about it, that they have not been gathering silly information. “Ah, were you there? I did not recognise you!” Said the stupid old friend. “You are not a child anymore!” They know how to defend themselves. They know well how to attack emotions, how to pretend to be intellectuals and to keep a falsely superior hand in a conversation which you have your emotions invested in. If you always talk, with no feeling, and hear and reply and continue, that’s fine. You would do better in the community. But if you try to understand, if you love everybody and your interlocutor, it’s not the same thing anymore… The older family member who has financial gains from the system, unlike you, knows well how to protect her gains. They know their colleagues, they know truly well how to ignore the quality of work and, unlike me, they could “accept it”. One after another, many people followed others with no restraint and they desired the ill-gained financial system within which they actually could place themselves. After they put a foot in the door, everything looked normal… they used time. Time, as the most important asset in life, got wasted, every single day… Every minute. Through the abuse of time, they have become able to hide their other major mistakes. And a lot of them have been people who could “admit” something, people who could realise that there were a few things which were problematic… but when you try to learn, you get stuck with the intellectual limitations of others. Intellectual is emotional. They managed to get their emotions matching the prowess of questioning they have. And they never accepted their limits… the fake intellectuals, those who have power in a truly harmful system, leave me at a loss for words: should I call it “corrupt” or “harmful?” a lot of the actions have been directed against me… and i could not cope with it, not all of the time… it’s not always easy to be strong. But it is much easier to give in, so much easier to “accept things”. The next thing you know, you got a “job” like them… and the social respect which is attached to falsities, follows from that. 

Not the image which the hotel business chooses to offer, not much to sell. This is the true Cyprus, one which I could not learn about. One which I still choose to ignore. Because it actually is painful, to loose the innocence of childhood. They make you do it, like they did themselves. It is your obligation according to those others who could ‘accept it’. Somehow, they have been able to presume superiority to those others. It is through that comparison which they have been able to establish the undeserved social standing within a single linguistic sphere. They made everything with each other, and anyone wanting to ‘learn’ more, had to be disciplined. The girls who wanted to travel, the girls who wanted to study, and did not agree to what the fake morality of the readily available conventionalism had it, got punished. They had to ‘love and respect’: both their elders and any boys they may or may not talk to. There is no running away from it… 

It didn’t matter what the academia did, or how shallow the justice was. The superficiality of the different dimensions of work have all supported each other. So much went into the shallow spoonful of water the patriots had in their hands: food, love, work… Everything had to be excluded from thought. And they established something shabby. More recently, it is now able to cause harm, use fake formality for inciting fear and entirely ignore the international definition of crime. It is, for me, home made.